The Delicate Sounds of Blunder
Heres to peer pressure. My first post since 44 BC, as the gasoline guzzler pointed out. So it was this other day when we had a very happy reunion of school friends, we decided to go around the city. And then, Hari wanted to go to his college to check something out, so we went with him. After the work was done and when we were waiting for the bus back to his place, we noticed that the signposts had long black patches on them. It didn’t take us long to realize that it was another of those apparent missions carried out to further the cause of Tamil and for the general welfare of the Tamil language and her people. And the man who has captured the imagination of all, albeit for all the wrong reasons regarding the language issue as well as most other issues is a certain Dr. Ramadoss, arguably the heir apparent to Captain, should the latter decide to quit his I-am-THE-honest-cop-who-fights-ISI-miscreants and enter politics.
With great difficulty this writer managed to get face to face with the man himself. When asked what the language issue and the black paints were all about, he said: “It is about furthering the cause of Tamil, and making it the mandatory language for all international communications. Understandably, any other language is a hindrance to people’s welfare. And since we fight for people’s welfare we make more than merely a conscious attempt to wipe all other languages from the face of the Tamil soil. Anyway, a long black patch on an otherwise boring green or yellow signboard looks cool from a distance.”
Hmm fair enough, I think. I mean nobody is against adding a dash of colour to the boring city-scape, and come to think of it a black patch on a yellow or a green signboard kicks ass.
“But what about those who don’t give a damn about your astonishing aesthetic sense but are plain pissed because they cannot understand what’s written on the boring green board in front of them because they cannot read Tamil? “
Ha! Gotcha there! That was a trick question. Now let’s see you wiggle your way out of this!
He said: “Three times four cannot be thirteen, and seven times eight is fifty-six everywhere.”
“Huh? Yeah I know that. But what about the people who don’t know Tamil?”
“Don’t they know it?”
“Yes, they know it too.”
“So there. That solves it.” he said.
I was lost for words here. I tried to ask him the same question again. But apparently he was against rhetorical questions. So I had to let go.
Another thing that gets me a little worked up is the practice of giving rhyming names to siblings. So it goes like this. If Ram has a younger brother he automatically becomes Shyam , and Narendran’s younger brother better be a Surendran, and should there be another son in the family, he is Sudhindran or may be Suchindran, but mind you any name not ending with a –dran is deemed unfit to even be mentioned as a possible option.
This is being extremely unfair to the second child. I mean what are the chances that he would get a name that does not sound like a violent mix of crimson and electric turquoise? And all this because he was born after the first guy? The first guy, of course has limitless possibilities, from a plain Suresh to a more exotic !Xobile (ask me how to pronounce it!). The third guy, of course fares even worse. For he has one possibility less. All this is partly because of those insipid story tellers of Bollywood who had hit an all time low in imagination while trying to name their protagonists. So what’s the fun in having a seven syllable name that takes about ten seconds to call out, just because your name had to rhyme with your elder brother’s? Thankfully for me I don’t have to worry about that, for I am a first born. And no, my sister’s name does not rhyme with mine, nor is it in any way derived from my name. She probably wouldn’t have forgiven me for eternity had that happened.
On a brighter note the Sensex has touched 7000. In case you were wondering what all the fuss was about, it’s like this. There is this Bombay Stock Exchange that decides it needs to monitor the growth of the Indian share market. So one fine April morning in 1979, some names that matter get together in what is the first meeting of the Index Committee and then choose 30 companies which according to them are indicative of the cash flow in the Indian market and then say that the index is 100. And that was the basis. Even today, the Committee reviews the list of 30 companies that are similarly indicative of the cash movements in the stock market and the general performance is reflected in the Sensex. A higher value means the economy doing great like the black patch on the yellow sign, and a lower value means a seven syllable name. But then again, one has to take all this with an extra helping of salt, if we have to relate it to the general state of the Indian economy. That is because the percentage of the Indian population who invest in shares is low, and hence a general well being of the share market doesn’t mean Kallu Ram is automatically taken care of in Ballia.
Another piece of news that might actually make me watch cricket this summer is that
And this is not the Nine o’ clock News.
